grandpa

our beloved grandpa esway entered into his rest june 25th, 2012.  i was grateful to be able to speak at his memorial service this weekend. 


My grandfather was a great man, a kingly man. He was
given a large share of hardships throughout the course
of his life. God tried him, as He tried Job, and like
Job, instead of cursing God, Grandpa remained faithful
and grateful through it all. This deep faith gave him
a deep peace obvious to all who knew him. Babies and
children always took to him immediately, sensing his
deep peace and calm spirit. If you had a fussy baby -
give it to Grandpa and he or she would be asleep in 10
minutes.

In addition to his great patience and contentment,
grandpa was always eager to work with his hands. Those
huge, weathered, gentle hands always helped wherever
help was needed. Doing chores in his quiet way,
making spitsad for a crowd of people, fixing things
that needed to be fixed, holding a grandchild’s hand,
entertaining the kids with his horse and small dog
impressions.

After dissolving into tears for probably the eighth
time in 12 hours this past weekend when grandpa was
in the hospital, and seeing my great love for him, my
husband said quietly as I cried on his shoulder, “He
must be some man.” “Yeah, he is,” I replied. I
started to think about why I loved him so much. I
realized it was not for his list of virtues. It was
simply because he loved me.

And it was because he understood the miracle of the gospel,
and received his Father’s love and mercy with joy that
he was able to turn and give that love to his family.
To love them sacrificially, laying himself out, giving
of himself.

True love requires death – death to self.

The Father’s love is manifested to us in the giving
of His Son. “In this God manifested His love toward
us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died
us.” His love is connected to an action – a giving of
Himself.

It was obvious to me, even as a child, that Grandpa
sacrificed himself for his family and that that was
his way of showing his love. He wasn’t a man of many
words, and he didn’t gush about how much he loved us.
He just showed us. He wrote us cards and sent checks
and prayed for us and made us dinner. He kept our
favorite ice cream in the freezer and took us out to
lunch.

My husband has been watching and paying attention these
past few weeks and he told me this morning that he was
impressed by the amount of grief that our family has
shown in response to Grandpa’s illness and death. And
that it says a lot about Grandpa.
While I am sure just a little of that is because we are
Italians, I know that much of it is because
of who our patriarch was. Our great grief today is a
testament to his love.

The Father’s love was given freely to him as a son,
which he then turned and gave freely to us. Even when
we were unlovable. When we were ungrateful, spiteful,
bitter. He would still accept any who were his as the
father accepted and loved both the prodigal son and the
pharisaical son.

As fallen men, we do not love instinctively. If left
to our own devices we would be hateful, selfish and
ugly. The way of nature does not have to be taught.
Love does have to be taught. And we learned it from
Grandpa. He taught us the way of grace. Because
he gave us love, we learned how to love freely,
passionately, and sacrificially.

In this he modeled
his Father’s love to us. “We love, because He first
loved us.” In loving us, he showed us tangibly how God
the Father loves His children. And so in loving us, he
taught us to love the Father. And that is the legacy
that he leaves us.



and i read this from gabriel:


A word about Grandpa.


We are told that Job offered sacrifice for his children in case they had sinned. He took spotless animals and sacrificed them to God. Their sacrifice pictured the redemption of Job's children from sin. When the animal was burned, the smoke and smell would ascend to God's presence, a stand-in for the children themselves.

And it says that God did the same thing with Job: He offered Job (who it says was perfect) up as His son. He let Satan cut him and tear him apart, and the smoke and smell of Job's afflictions ascended to God.

In the end, Job also offers sacrifice for his 3 friends-for his own accusers. And we see that Job's life, his plenty and his want, his sickness and his health-all of it was for Job's people. Job's sufferings were him being offered up to God for his friends, family, and kingdom.

Grandpa was another Job. He was God's son, perfect before his Father. And his life was a sacrifice for all of us, his people. Now God has Grandpa in His presence, now Father and son are together.
When God took His own Son back to be with Him, He did not leave us alone. He gave us His Spirit, that great tie that binds Father to Son, Heaven to Earth. And when He took Grandpa He did not leave us alone.

Now we live in the world Grandpa made for us, now we raise children with Grandpa's face on them, in his image.

I didn't even know Grandpa very well. But I'm married to his granddaughter. My little Tellings are part Esway. Grandpa changed my life. His life, his sacrifice was for me, for Richard, for Gina, for Isaac who is with him now. It was for all of us.

Kristen will be crying as she reads this, and I cried as I wrote it. But these aren't the tears of bitterness, they are the tears people cry when they say goodbye to someone at the airport.

Goodbye Grandpa, I'll be looking at you when I kiss my kids goodnight.